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[The scene: I am the speaker introducing the “Purpose of Life” talk here at UCL. The audience is packed. There is a certain “tension” in the air. A performance awaits…]

One faces many trials and tribulations in this journey called life. Everyone in the audience here goes to or has been to University, but we are all part of the biggest fraternity in the World, the University of Life. And the question is, how do we pass it with distinction? Or at least get a 2:1?. What are the main challenges we face? Well generally, they are the usual suspects; pride, marriage, procrastination in achieving goals, and usually our little character flaws, our idiosyncracies, our bugaboos, our bête noirs. And ninety percent of the game is always fifty percent mental.

To pride then. You know, one time I interviewed somebody for a job at my former employer, and I asked him the one thing he could change to improve. With a perfectly straight face, in all seriousness and candor, he said “well, if only I had a little humility, I’d be perfect. But sometimes I’m just a little too awesome.” I hired him because, well, in the World of Investment Banking, he was a perfect fit. But, all jokes aside, pride is one of the major stumbling blocks in the way of progression. It’s just that honest criticism is hard to take. Particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger.

Sometimes our friends may be spot on in their analysis, but we are not always willing to take what they say on board. My buddy and I one time were discussing the issue of whether it is the time to get married. Now I know not everybody here is Muslim, so perhaps you guys should know a little bit about how we, the Muslims, view marriage. Basically, from the age of twenty until we finally get hitched, its one of our main conversation points. I don’t know about the Muslim Women, but as Men, that’s just how we roll. So you know when you meet an old friend you haven’t spoken too in ages. You meet, you shake hands, you say hello, you exchange pleasantries, and then, after about two minutes, one of you says “so, how are things on THAT front?” In any case, we started arguing over some small nuance - but I’m always hesitant to criticize people. I always think that before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.

This brings us nicely onto the subject of Marriage. Regardless of what faith or culture anybody here follows, it is a big deal! I guess marriage is a bit like the number PI - its natural, irrational, and very, very important. Yeah, I got that one from the internet! Well here’s another one: "Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.” Yeah, I agree, real corny - who comes up with this stuff? You know that old saying – “Behind every successful man is a strong woman” – well apparently THEY beg to differ. THEY say – “Behind every successful man is a very surprised woman!”….. Well look, I don’t want to dwell too much on this subject because I am not a practitioner in the area just yet, but I’ll end with one general principle; don’t marry for money, for a number of reasons, but from a financial point of view, with the way taxes are in this country, you may as well marry for love!

So anyway, to achieving goals. Well, you have to set goals first - something not too vague. You can always want to be somebody important, but don’t get to old age before you realize that you should have been more specific. If you don’t know where you’re going, you’ll wind up somewhere else! (no one laughs, deafening silence).........Oh come on, that was funny. Laugh people laugh……….(Look to the chair person, with your hands in the air and say “I’m losing my audience”).

[sheet of paper from chairperson telling me that the time is up]

So apparently, my time is coming to a close. Damn, I had so much more “wisdom” that I wanted to impart. Well anyway, that’s life, but you know, a word to the wise - you all really didn’t need this introduction. It is just the stupid ones that need the advice. (Laughter). And obviously, (pause), OBVIOUSLY, everyone here is extremely clever. I was told never to argue with fools, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference. So unfortunately no Q & A session today. Awwww, am I making too much fun of you? Do you all feel bad? Well, I’ll end with my following experience; most days are rough days - heck, life’s tough, get a helmet!

Thanks for being a great audience folks, now onto the serious stuff...

Thanks and God bless!

HwR & Abu Yahya

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Comments (12)

3  Written by anon, on Tuesday, 02 February 2010 01:04 quite good msA.. i like this feature.. we should make it a regular inshaAllah! Report

10  Written by :), on Tuesday, 09 February 2010 21:40 Asalaamu alaikum,     that was a great read, loved the ending!† Report

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